Chinese dining etiquette is a fascinating subject. Food is a crucial component of Chinese culture, so knowing your way around a dinner table can help you score points with the locals, as well as help you forge and maintain solid business partnerships.
Bad table manners, on the other hand, can potentially ruin your standing with people around you and possibly cost you business opportunities. You don’t want to lose face in front of your colleagues or worse, your boss!
But even if you’re not a businessperson, you should still learn how to properly eat like the people in China. Western restaurants are not always going to be within striking distance. Plus, real Chinese food can be pretty good.
Chinese dining etiquette can be broken down into 3 basic components: eating etiquette, drinking etiquette, and paying the bill.
Oh wait, there’s a bonus component!
So, before we begin, I need to tell you about a peculiarity you will find in many restaurants in China. Before you begin a meal, every diner receives a set of tableware (bowl, plate, teacup, and spoon) and a pair of chopsticks. The server will also bring a kettle of hot tea and a bowl for trash.
Here’s the kicker: your tableware comes shrink-wrapped in plastic. Before you start eating, you have to unwrap your dishes and then rinse them with the hot tea to sanitize them further.
Why are they wrapped in plastic? Because many restaurants in China don’t have a dishwasher. All dirty dishes are collected and then shipped out to a cleaning company who will clean them and return them shrink-wrapped for easy handling and to keep out bugs.
However, don’t just start tearing into them like you used to do to your presents on Christmas morning. There’s an easy process to follow.
First, take your chopsticks out of their wrapper. Then, pierce a hole in the plastic wrap through the top of the teacup. Use that hole to start unwrapping your cup, bowl, plate, and spoon and stack them inside each other.
Use one hand to stick your chopsticks into the cup and the other to pour tea down your chopsticks so that it runs into the cup and overflows into your bowl and plate. Give your spoon a quick rinse too. Then, when you’re sure you’ve thoroughly disinfected everything, pour all the tea and your plastic into the trash bowl.
To this day, I still don’t understand this custom as the shrink-wrapped dishes should already be clean enough. However, like most things, I know this is just some custom that everyone does and it’s best just to do it and not question it. After doing it a couple times, it becomes second nature.
Chinese Eating Etiquette
Ordering food
If you’re the guest, usually your host will order food for you. All you need to do is sit back and sip tea. A standard spread for a table of 5-6 people normally consists of three meat/fish dishes, two vegetable dishes, and some sort of staple food like fried rice, noodles, or dumplings. If you ever end up hosting, you can follow this simple ordering rule as well.
While waiting for food, you or your host will pour tea for the rest of the guests. Always fill your own cup last. If someone else pours tea for you, remember to thank them either verbally or by tapping two fingers three times on the table. The finger-tapping method is a great way to display your knowledge of Chinese dining etiquette.
Bowl, plate, and chopsticks etiquette
In most formal Chinese restaurants, the plate is not used for eating. Instead, it’s to contain your food scraps. Bits of bone, skin, chilis, or anything inedible goes on your plate. If you put a piece of food on your plate, people might assume you don’t want to eat it.
The bowl is where all the action takes place. Use your chopsticks to pick up bits of food and place them in your bowl. You can then start eating them. Don’t use your spoon unless the food is really saucy or you’re eating soup.
Some simple rules to follow when using chopsticks:
- If there are no communal chopsticks on the table, you can freely use your own to pick up food;
- Don’t pick through a dish to find your favorite piece. Instead, use your eyes to hunt it down and then grab it in one swift motion;
- When not using your chopsticks, lay them on a chopstick rest or rest them on your plate. If you lay them on top of your bowl, people might think you’ve finished eating;
- Never pass food between chopsticks, as this represents a funeral rite and is considered bad luck;
- Never stand your chopsticks upright in your food, as it looks like an offering to the deceased;
- Pointing with your chopsticks is considered rude in formal settings. However, I’ve seen people do it in informal settings so just use your judgement. However, never use your chopsticks to point at people!
Get it while it’s hot!
A common Chinese saying is 趁热吃 (eat while the food is still hot). As soon as the food arrives, you can dig in. If your host is someone of high importance, you should wait until he/she gives you the green light. You likely won’t need to wait long, as he or she will probably want to eat right away as well!
Eating with your hands
In formal Chinese dining settings, using your hands to eat is looked down upon. Even things like chicken wings and buns will be picked up and eaten with chopsticks.
Some foods, however, might need to be eaten with your hands (Peking duck comes to mind). In this case, the restaurant may provide each diner with plastic gloves. At that point, you can go wild and unleash your caveman tendencies.
If they don’t, watch what others do first. If other guests are using their hands, then it’s perfectly okay to use yours too. If everyone uses chopsticks, it’s time to upgrade your chopstick skills and try to keep up.
The Lazy Susan
In formal Chinese restaurants, tables are circular and come equipped with a lazy Susan, where all the food is placed.
Reaching over the table to grab a piece of food is considered rude. Instead, spin the lazy Susan to bring the dish closer to you. Make sure no one else is doing that at the same time! Also be sure to spin meat and fish dishes away from you after you’ve grabbed your piece. Your fellow diners might think you’re greedy if you keep all the good food in front of yourself!
Chinese Drinking Etiquette
Being a Westerner in China, people will often ask if you want beer with your meal, because well, “all Westerners drink beer.” But take caution, as drinking in formal settings is a little different than in the West.
Beer
In China, when you order beer in a formal dining setting, the server will bring out small glasses for everyone. Just like the food, one bottle of beer is shared among several people. Drinking your own beer is a no-no. Again, fill your own glass last.
Diners will usually only drink when someone makes a toast, usually the host. Glasses are then clinked and completely emptied. Someone will then refill the glasses, and everyone waits till the next toast.
When clinking glasses with someone important, keep the top of your glass lower than the top of theirs. This shows respect for the person you are toasting with and acknowledges their status. However, if you are the guest of honor, others might lower their glass to you!
Baijiu
A popular drink in China is called baijiu (literally “white spirits”) which refers to it’s clear consistency. It has a pungent smell and a 40-60% ABV. When the host wants to get wild, he or she (almost always he) will order a bottle for the table, at which point everyone is handed a baijiu glass.
Baijiu glasses are smaller than shot glasses, but don’t be fooled. The host might want to finish the whole bottle that night, and those shots can add up quickly. Depending on the number of people in your party, you might end up doing anywhere from 5 to 10 or more shots in one sitting. Yikes.
The best thing to do is make sure you’re drinking on a full stomach. That way, you might be able to drink your host under the table so next time he might be more careful not to mess with you. Or he may want to try to best you. So don’t get too confident!
Paying the Bill
In Chinese culture, the most important person at the table is expected to foot the bill for everyone. This person could be your host, your boss, the family patriarch, or the person with the most money. It is generally already known who this person is. It should never be you, unless you organized the dinner.
No matter what, you should ultimately allow your host to pay the bill. Offering to pay may insult your host, as it implies they themselves can’t afford to pay.
You also have the option of arguing back and forth a couple of times, but this isn’t necessary as the host will end up paying anyway. However, you should thank them gratuitously for their generosity and offer them to pay next time (though you don’t have to follow through on that offer).
Tipping
Tipping in Chinese restaurants is essentially non-existent and leaving change on the table might make the server think you forgot your money. In large or fancy restaurants, a gratuity fee might be added to the bill (usually 10-15%).
And always, always try the food that’s being offered to you. Even if you don’t like it very much, just chew and smile. Chew and smile!